Peety enjoys thrift stores, plastic vegetation, dirty alleys and ingesting all kinds of grungy dumpster finds. Actually, he reminds me alot of this homeless guy my old dumbass roommates invited over one time. It was about 4-5 years ago now, we were living off Federal and Colfax. He downed the better half of a handle of McCormik's Vodka (w/in 10min. flat), tore his shirt off and started belting Cat Scratch Fever by "The Nuge." Literally, the words cat, scratch, and fever with alittle "Duh NUH nuh NUUH" after it, were the only words that left his mouth for what seemed like hours. Eventually, we fooled his incoherent ass to stumble out the back gate and onto the street leaving us in peace.
1/22/09
PEETY
Peety enjoys thrift stores, plastic vegetation, dirty alleys and ingesting all kinds of grungy dumpster finds. Actually, he reminds me alot of this homeless guy my old dumbass roommates invited over one time. It was about 4-5 years ago now, we were living off Federal and Colfax. He downed the better half of a handle of McCormik's Vodka (w/in 10min. flat), tore his shirt off and started belting Cat Scratch Fever by "The Nuge." Literally, the words cat, scratch, and fever with alittle "Duh NUH nuh NUUH" after it, were the only words that left his mouth for what seemed like hours. Eventually, we fooled his incoherent ass to stumble out the back gate and onto the street leaving us in peace.
ShuShuMush
Shushumush slinked out of the ocean a couple years ago with a broken china crash cymbal and a few chewed-up drumsticks. Needless to say, he immediately began drumming for a long line of disappointing alternative rock groups; you know, the kind where everyone is pretty good except the singer. It's like you really don't want to hurt the guys feelings and he's a good friend and usually brings the beer to practice but every time he sings outside of his 4note range you could literally rip the vestibular cochlea nerve right out of your head ending your ability to perceive sound for, like, ever. Eventually, after trying to get his annoying girlfriend to tell him how bad he his (which never works) the band slowly gets less and less gigs untill it crumbles apart and the drummer and guitar player start a new band initiating the cycle all over again... Anyway, after a brief stint in the underground punk scene, he now seeks to expand his horizons buying used synthesizers and other various electronic elements to form his solo neo-future-grunge-core-electro-pop project.
Last spotted at a park in Denver, Colorado, the Amish Cyclops (not to be confused with any cyclops' out there who may posses magic abilities or giant stature etc, etc..) has been on the run from his community after being exiled and eventually chased out of his town. Outraged by his overtly blasphemous skin tone and little squeelly voice, the townspeople forced him to leave as soon as he could crawl himself out. He now peddles for money with a clever math riddle he learned from a hooker in Nevada.
1/21/09
GAPPY
Gappy was my first, he is just so damn suave and charming, it was impossible to say no. He stole my heart then ran off down 13th ave never to be seen again.
Litterbug
This little bastard is seriously a slacker. He is made out of kitchen organizational products a.k.a. "Tupperware" and yet is completely incapable of keeping things tidy and clean. I spent probably 5 hours cleaning my apartment and within a few hours he had tore the place up. Trash was everywhere, all my art supplies were left out, Ritz crackers, empty soda cans, candy wrappers, joint roaches, and crumbled pieces of PB&J sandwiches were all over the place and he wouldn't even apologize. He just kept saying "I'm not even real, I don't even have lungs or a functioning mouth to get high with and eat all that junk food" and I was like "well fuck off, because I don't have motivational problems that force me to sit around all day gettin high not accomplishing shit like you do" and he was like "dude i'm not even saying anything because i'm made out of trash you found in your dumpster" and I was like.... well actually I decided at that point to put the bubbler down and take a nap.
Rawky
Rawky has continually obsessed over the scene in Rocky where Rocky drinks raw eggs and runs up stairs. Rawky loves to mimic Rocky but, unfortunately, is only a biped (or whatever it's called when you only have two appendages, im almost positive it's not biped but im not gonna look it up even though I probably could have figured it out in the time it took to write this) and doesn't have any legs so mostly he relies on passing citizens to transport him around or occasionally he manages to slime his way up buildings screaming Rocky!! (cuz he really couldn't care less about Adrian) and chugging up to 15 eggs per day even though his intestinal tract is incapable of digesting them resulting in...well...it's not important. Keep living the Rocky dream Rawky! .....worst..monster story...ever!
1/12/09
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